Q.(6) I am over committed, over stressed and over scheduled. How do I get back into control?
ANSWER by Dr Maddy
We think that we can cope with all the things that need to get done and
still have room for more until we just can’t cope anymore. We are over
committed, over stressed and over scheduled. Listen to my CD
on Coping Skills For Caregivers and turn to page 84 in my book, Phenomenal
Women: That’s Us!. It can help you prioritize your commitments.
Getting Back Into Control
Are you so exhausted at the end of the day without enough time left over to take care of yourself or do the things you said you wanted to do? Many people need a personal tragedy or great illness in order to look at the way they prioritize their lives. For some people, a wake-up call comes in the form of a persistent inner voice that reminds them something is missing. Others may hear themselves repeat over and over again how they want to do something such as take a class, play the piano, or play tennis.
As a coach, I ask people to begin to look at what's truly important to them
by slowing down and breathing. Take a few minutes just to notice your breath
and clear your head.
Then I suggest simply writing in a journal. Start
telling the truth to yourself.
Ask yourself:
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Is this activity or task enhancing my life or consuming it?
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Does this activity or task reflect who I am and what I value?
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Am I genuinely excited and passionate about what I am doing, or has my life become about shoulds?
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Will this activity or task help me get where I want to go?
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If I could live my life any way I wanted, what would it look like?
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Am I staying busy and hectic so I don't have to look at those personal issues that are difficult to address?
Include in your journal an accounting of where you spend your time every day for a week. Include sleeping time, working, commuting, worrying, errands, time for children, quiet time for yourself, etc. You may be very surprised.
When you're immersed in a hectic schedule, it's easy to lose track of how
you're spending your time, especially if your priorities are out of order.
After looking at how you are spending your time, you can evaluate the list
and consciously choose new priorities based on what is really important in
your life.
